- C
- You build a new leg.
- ASM
- You redefine every cell in the leg, and all the inter-cell bonds; when you're done, watch your leg vanish at the first segfault.
- C++
- Nobody understands how you did it, but you've created an iron plated leg that runs so fast that it's essentially useless, and you walk in circles for hours.
- C#
- You build a leg, and it works wonderfully, but only within the city limits of Seattle.
- Ruby
- You build 15 more legs, and four more bodies to carry them around. For redundancy.
- Objective C
- You buy a new chrome leg, at great expense, and find it won't work without a chrome hip.
- Objective-C on iPhone
- You write an application that heals your leg when you shake it and sell it for $5. It also acts as a flashlight and makes fart noises when you use it.
- Perl
- You spend two days attempting to work with the Leg::Prostethic module, before running your previous C code through encryption and executing the result. A leather couch appears.
- Prolog
- You define your leg as healed, and wait four years for the leg to build itself.
- AppleScript
- A basic, cylindrical leg appears, which just barely works through a series of jerky, childlike movements.
- Brainfuck
- You spent nearly a month creating the replacement leg, everyone pats you on the back and you feel pretty good about yourself, but you somehow wonder if there was an easier way.
- Malbolge
- You spend the rest of your life rebuilding half a leg, but you somehow have to divide it by 57 before it can be finished.
- Piet
- You paint a picture of a leg, and then execute it. A leather couch appears.
- Haskell
- You heal your leg in one line. You then write 10 pages of LaTeX documentation on how you could have healed your leg more efficiently.
- Befunge
- With a good editor, your leg takes mere minutes to prototype, however you'll be improving it for the rest of your life to get it down to small enough to be usable.
- Java (modified 2009-06-05)
- After discovering the lack of a built-in library for legs, you spend 8 hours trying to write factory patterns for human, animal and robot legs, then instantiate a new leg. The stump of the old leg loiters around for a while before being collected.
- Java on Android (added 2015-04-25)
- Google builds and attaches your leg for you, but collects and records all your vital signs as stipulated under section 83.5 of the EULA you signed.
- Lisp
- You attach the leg bone to the hip bone, which is attached to the leg bone, which is attached to the hip bone...
- COBOL
- PROCEDURE DIVISION. WRITE ESSAY IN REGARD TO CONSTRUCTION OF NEW LEG. RUN.
- Javascript
- You spend a few hours building an array of pieces of leg, and a few weeks playing with toolkits that can slide pieces of leg around in all sorts of ways.
- PHP
- You can't remember whether the function order requires (hip, leg, ankle) or (ankle, leg, hip). Eventually through trial and error, you have a leg which works fine on tarmac but doesn't understand grass.
- HTML
- You build a framework for a leg, and you wake up in the morning with it blinking.
- CSS
- You attach a new leg to the hip and float it in the proper direction, but your feet are also attached to your hips because they haven't been cleared below the legs.
- Scheme
- You can only build a leg-1, so you can either have a leg to stand on or have something to give you a leg up, but not both.
- SQL
- You attempt to clean up the stump of your leg by deleting it, but you forget to specify which limb to delete; now you have no arms or legs.
- Bash
- You try to rm -r /limbs/leg/right/stump, but hit enter instead of tab after rm -r / and disappear.
- Pascal
- You build a leg module, just in time to learn that Modula-2 has legs built into the standard library.
- BASIC
- Your new leg looks perfectly fine, but doesn't work until you tattoo numbers down the side of the shin.
- JCL
- You spend weeks crafting a build mechanism for your leg, and submit it to the mainframe, to find a syntax error. Only then do you find, that you don't understand the code any more.
- Erlang
- You spawn a process to fix your leg, and a supervisor process to build more new legs just in case. The supervisor attaches all your new legs to your head, because your hip is an immutable structure.
- Python (modified 2015-04-24)
from __future__ import leg- Fortran (modified 2009-06-17)
- You build a new leg, and spend the rest of your life improving it in small increments until you can leap tall buildings. Unfortunately, no-one cares.
- CUDA (added 2009-06-05)
- You make 10,000 tiny legs which enable you to run at thirty miles an hour, but they only work on astroturf.
- Lua (added 2009-06-05)
- You find that you can only emulate a new leg as userdata with a metatable the size of the moon. Surprisingly, this works quite well if you upgrade your brain at the same time.
- POVRay (added 2009-06-08)
- You design a new leg from basic geometric shapes, and texture it in reflective Perlin noise. Because it looks cooler that way.
- D (added 2009-06-08)
- You build a new leg. You forget that the Makefile specifies omission of bounds checking, so attaching the new leg extends it into your torso, replacing many vital organs.
- Matlab (added 2009-06-17)
- You meticulously formulate the components of your new leg, and then build it. A graph of your leg's kinetic energy output appears.
- Qubit C (added 2009-06-17)
- You set out to create a new leg, which would explain the extra leg you sprouted last week. A leather couch appears.
- Whitespace (added 2009-06-17)
- Win32 API (added 2015-04-24)
- Microsoft hands you a new leg, but it keeps randomly cramping up. Every diagnosis only comes up with a strange number and "The leg is incorrect". Your only option is to go home and sleep it off.
- Visual Basic (added 2015-04-24)
- You call the doctor's office to build you a new a leg, but find out that it comes with an incantation tattoo'd onto it that causes it to never stop running. The unfamiliar phrase reads:
On Error Resume Next - Rust (added 2015-04-24)
- You make a new leg without any trouble but when you try to attach it the compiler complains that that it doesn't live long enough.
With thanks to: letusgothen, TehLaser, VoidBoi, jercos, matja, apathy, asonge, Ended, tobias104, Emu*, MHD, lulzfish, Ysn, maafy6, RoadieRich.